Infinite time

My IVF experience was a journey through grief, isolation, and eventual resilience. This piece captures the rawness of loss and the ways we attempt to maintain control—focusing on appearance and routines amidst chaos, seeking comfort in small indulgences, and retreating into solitude. Yet, through the cracks of this isolation, a few unexpected connections formed: closer bonds with friends and a deepened relationship with my partner. These connections revealed strength and character I didn’t know I had, even though they contrasted with feelings of distance from myself and how to get through the experience.

I wanted to use a mix of imagery and narrative expressed through 4 videos describing the main activities I performed each day. They show fragmented scenes: a quiet couch with scattered Uber Eats containers, self-examination and judgement in the bathroom mirror, the glow of a phone in my darkened bedroom, and getting through mundane tasks like doing the laundry, all while feeling these feels.

Combining raw, unfiltered visuals with emotive language adds some semblance of beauty, rhythm, and poetry, which felt impossible to me at the time, aiming, through the use of AI-generated poetry, to express the impossibility of my ability to think this way whilst experiencing the emotions of grief, loss and isolation. AI can create content void of emotion, and the use of AI here highlights the human experience artificially whilst also providing insight into contrasting behaviours and feelings at difficult times.